The appointment this week involved an oversized paper towel attempting to cover the land mass that is my lower naughty land, a swab shoved in my cooter and very briefly tickling my butthole, and an inhumanly large hand shoved up my vagina with not enough lube. I suppose I should get used to checking my [...]
Archive for July, 2009
It doesn’t go up your ass, just around the rabbit hole
Posted in Pregnancy on July 28, 2009 | 6 Comments »
Beauty School Hay’er
Posted in Hair, Hubs on July 27, 2009 | 4 Comments »
Oh, you wanted to see my new hair? Okay.
Also, yes, Hubs is fanning my belly. He is a prince among men.
Double baby shower
Posted in Baby Talk, Family on July 27, 2009 | 6 Comments »
Got a text Saturday morning that said “Can’t make the shower, in labor” from sister.
She totally did that on purpose so she wouldn’t have to sit through the awkward family shower.
She got up in the middle of the night and said to herself, “Why am I so wet?” After the usual, “I don’t think I [...]
Shower mah belly
Posted in Uncategorized on July 18, 2009 | 4 Comments »
To be honest, I was not expecting much from my shower last weekend. I remembered the awkwardness of the “condom and dinner mint pinata” at my bridal shower, which would have been funny had the pinata not been filled by my brand new geezer stepmom2 and dad. I was expecting awkward conversation, people eating like [...]
The work excuse
Posted in Pregnancy, Work on July 15, 2009 | 6 Comments »
As much as I’d love to be documenting the ever increasing limits of my abdominal skin, and the joys of no-new-stretch-marks-cause-I-used-to-be-hella-fat, my job has other ideas. I’m like, working, all the fucking time. Like, “oh god staying a half an hour to an hour extra every day just isn’t enough time to get all my [...]
Show off
Posted in Baby Talk on July 9, 2009 | 6 Comments »
You guys, my nursery is so cute I want to eat it. I’ve been hella nesty lately, and now must show off.
Dad and Stepmom 2 purchased our crib and mattress set as their “we’re going to mention to you every time we see you that we’d like to give you one of the big ticket [...]
The no-good, fuck this, crap-ass day
Posted in Good Times, Pregnancy on July 8, 2009 | 5 Comments »
I woke up in the morning with the cranks. My hips have been hurting now every night, I switch from one side to another to relieve the achiness. I didn’t want anyone to talk to me or look at me and I didn’t want to go to work. Problem is, Work thinks it’s a great [...]
